Let’s make mediocre blow jobs a thing of the past.
If you’re trying to step up your B.J. game but don’t know where to begin, you’ve come to the right place. We asked sex experts to share their best tips for going down on someone with a penis. (And if you’re going down on someone with a vagina, we’ve got you covered there too.)
Note that these are just general tips. As with any sexual experience, it’s best to communicate with your partner about what they like and don’t like. The advice below can apply to anyone ― regardless of gender ― who possesses genitalia traditionally understood as male.
1. Think of the blow job as if it were the main event, not just a quick pit stop along the way
“Getting into blow jobs or a blow job headspace, rather than viewing it as a short stop on your way to other activities, can have a genuine impact on the blow job.” — Jesse Kahn, sex therapist and director at the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Collective
2. If you can’t muster any enthusiasm, don’t bother. No one likes a begrudging B.J.
“A lackluster blow job leaves the receiver unsatisfied and the giver feeling inadequate. Enthusiasm makes up for many technique flaws, and on the opposite side, performing out of obligation can rob the pleasure out of even the most skillful technique.” — Rebekah Beneteau, a sex, kink and intimacy coach
3. It’s OK to start slow
“Porn has many of us believing that hard and fast is the way to go, but most men love it when their partner mixes slow and sensual with fast and hard. Slowly run your tongue up the side of their cock, tease him a little bit, then slowly take him into your mouth and gradually build up speed and pressure.” — Taylor Johnson, sex educator
4. And you don’t have to wait until they’re totally hard to begin
“It can be really pleasurable to take all of them in your mouth and just allow them to grow. You can suck very gently and move your tongue over them as they fill your mouth, then grip...