I need advice: I am so angry at my wife for keeping this horrific secret from me

·3-min read
The doctor injects a shot into the uzi pregnancy, an abortion, a syringe, a glove, a black background, medical
I am so angry at my wife for keeping this horrific secret from me. (Picture for representational purposes only)

In our new series called, ‘I need advice’, we bring you questions that real-life people have asked in publications around the world. These are hard-hitting issues faced by men and women today. The questions could range from family, relationships and work, to abuse and sex.


My wife and I have been married for 25 years. We have seen some good days and bad days; but overall it has been a good life with her.

Our two children are grown up now, and living in other cities; one is working in Pune and one is studying in Chennai.

Although the coronavirus has hit us hard, they both are safe - they are living with our immediate family members. We live in a small town and did not want them to travel, especially during this time.

One advantage of this lockdown is that it has given us a lot of free time. My wife and I were both going to retire this year, but the lockdown, it seems, has preponed our plans. We have full time help at home, so we were quite happy.

During this time, with the children away, and the household work getting done, my wife and I had a lot of time to talk. It was a wonderful time of reconnecting with my spouse, and I was a happy man.

But a week ago, my wife revealed something to me that has shocked me to my core.

She told me that she kept this truth from me, because she was afraid of what I would say and think. But, she could not keep this a secret any longer.

She revealed that a month after our wedding, she got pregnant. As ours was an arranged marriage, she claims she wanted to know me better, before we had any children. So with the help of some of her friends (we were living in Mumbai back then), she aborted the baby without my knowledge.

I was appalled, my initial reaction was to burst out crying — for my unborn child, and in anger toward the woman who murdered it. I could not believe this woman is my own wife.

She cried a lot too; she says she has lived with the guilt and regret for 25 years. She has not stopped apologising or crying. But my life has turned upside down.

I am so angry with her. How could she murder our unborn child? How can I go back to a normal life after hearing this kind of revelation? I don’t know what to do.

Please help me.

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