In our new series called, ‘I need advice’, we bring you questions that real-life people have asked in publications around the world. These are hard-hitting issues faced by men and women today. The questions could range from family, relationships and work, to abuse and sex.
Today’s question was sent to us from a user. If you have a question, please write in to us at email@example.com.
I'm married for 14 years and have two children. Ours was a love marriage that was arranged with the consent of both sides.
From the very beginning, however, my in-laws and I have faced-off on various issues. But in all this, my biggest grief was that my husband never once attempted to know my side of the story or sort out the matter on my behalf with the in-laws.
Through the years, I have let these hurt feelings fade to an extent. At times compromise was the only available option. Nevertheless, the bitterness still persisted and would erupt on and off.
Matters took an ugly turn recently, when one of his relatives accused me of something ridiculous.
My ‘man’, the whole time, was sitting as a mute witness to the whole drama. I felt so betrayed that moment. The worst thing is, when I confronted him about his behaviour at a later time, he slapped me in front of the children and called me a liar.
All those years of patience and compromise seemed useless. I couldn't take it any longer and decided to call it quits. But, at that point, he begged me to stay back. His reason? What of our children and their well-being? So I stayed back.
But the consequence of this event has not left our family. In my anger and frustration, I refrained from having any sexual contact with him. This has angered him even more.
Unfortunately, his anger is poured on our children. For silly reasons, he lashes out at them with abusive words, and sometimes even beats them up.
I feel helpless and even more guilty.
Unable to figure what I should do. Please advise.
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