In our new series called, ‘I need advice’, we bring you pertinent questions that real-life people have asked in publications around the world. These are hard-hitting issues faced by men and women today. The questions could range from family, relationships and work, to abuse and sex.
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I know many parents will resonate with my problem.
We are a family of four; my husband, my two children and I.
My husband, being an only child, has been pampered and spoilt rotten all his life. On the contrary, having strict disciplinarians as my parents has moulded my brother and I to understand the importance of discipline, now that we both have kids.
From when my children were very young, I have been strict with them, so that they can learn discipline from a young age. But my husband is the completely opposite: he gives them whatever they want, whenever they want it, he mollycoddles them, protects them even if they have done something wrong.
During this lockdown phase, and the new challenges it brings for us, it is really difficult for us to keep our children occupied. My daughter just turned a teenager, and my son is couple of years younger.
I have always maintained that I am not my kids’ friend, I am their parent. And I should behave like one. But, my husband, he only wants to be their friend. As if he is trying to make up to them for something.
They have never feared their father because of his lenient nature. But now they have come to the stage where they do not fear me either, because they can run to their dad, who will “protect” them from me. I have become the bad cop, and he is the good cop. I have caught my son lying on several occasions and my daughter is slowly nursing a bad, disobedient attitude.
I don’t care if I am not popular with them, I only care that they turn out to be honest individuals with integrity and discipline.
I am tired of telling my husband that we both need to be a team; we have to show a united front if we want to discipline our children. But my pleas fall on deaf ears.
What is your advice to her? Tell us in the comment space below.
Do you have a problem that is worrying you? Write in to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We will feature your question in our ‘I Need Advice’ column.