Agony Aunt: I juggle two jobs, barely get time to spend with family

No time for family

I juggle two jobs to provide for my family. I leave very early in the morning and return late in the night everyday. Due to this, I barely get time to spend with my family and this has resulted in me barely seeing my kids or husband unless it is late at night. My husband keeps complaining that I spend too much time working and not enough with family.

However, if I do not work, financially it will put us in a tough spot. Although I am not fully content with the way things are, I know that it is for an important cause. But I feel like I am neglecting my family and instead focusing all my attention on work. I feel trapped. What should I do?

Work-life balance can be challenging when there are multiple expectations to be fulfilled simultaneously. Since you know work is essential, few changes at home can be a starting point to resolve this brewing tension. Having your husband by your side is essential to sail through this tough time.

Speaking to him about the current situation and how both of you can work together, rather than against, could help as well. And most important is drawing a line at work as well if it gets too much to handle, because if you collapse, everything else also comes to a halt and you may not be able to achieve set goals.

Stressed and anxious

There was a random appraisal at work recently where we were made to write down our biggest accomplishments, how we have contributed to the success of the company and our weaknesses. There was also a section where we were asked to set goals for ourselves and other performance-related questions.

I thought I answered them quite well, but my boss said she was disappointed with my answers and felt like they lacked substance. I am now extremely stressed since I feel she has the wrong impression about me and thinks I slack off and do whatever I want in the office, when that is not the case. I really am anxious about this. What should I do?

Your anxiety seems to be based entirely on how your boss has reacted to the questionnaire. If we can use an alternative view and assess the situation, there is a possibility of anxiety being reduced. Since you strongly feel that your boss might have a certain impression of you, clearing the air could be more helpful than staying in this constant confusion.

Hobby over job

I have worked in a retail company for over 11 years now. I have an excellent pay as well as benefits and my position is quite high up in the company as well. However, in the last few months, I have had a desire to take up a job in cooking instead of retail since it has always been one of my favourite hobbies and I have been told I cook quite well.

While I am happy in my job and with my pay, I feel as though I have achieved everything I can in the job already. There is also a risk in taking up a new job from scratch since I do not have any professional experience in it. What should I do?

The risk mentioned here is switching not just your job but also complete mindset. Your hobby can be translated into a full-time profession if you are willing to invest completely into this process. For gaining professional experience, you could begin by taking up couple of courses, or opting for diploma in cookery which could help you understand this business better. To begin with, you can alter between the two professions, so that you are not left with the feelings of insecurity.

A sister’s dilemma

Next week I have an important meeting which can help me in acquiring a job that is well-suited for me and offers great pay as well. However, on the day before this meeting, it is my little sister’s 18th birthday and she wants me to join her in the celebrations. I do want to prepare that night for the meeting next day, but my sister’s birthday only comes once a year and this is a huge moment for her. I’m getting stressed just thinking about it. What should I do?

I understand that you want to attend your sister’s birthday as well perform well in the meeting as both seem to be equally important for you. This approach-approach conflict can be dealt with making few changes in the way you perceive this situation. For instance, attending your sister’s birthday for a certain amount of time and then excusing yourself for the next day’s meeting preparation could be one way to go about it.

Alternatively, if you are able to prepare for your meeting in advance so that last minute stress doesn’t hinder in you being able to enjoy the birthday and be present for your sister. Thus, you are able to attend to both and not be so stressed. MINDTEMPLE