I need advice: My husband is the ‘popular’ one, and it’s making me depressed

·2-min read
Man comforting wife suffering with depression at home
My husband is the ‘popular’ one, and it’s making me depressed. (Image for representational purposes only)

In our new series called, ‘I need advice’, we bring you pertinent questions that real-life people have asked in publications around the world. These are hard-hitting issues faced by men and women today. The questions could range from family, relationships and work, to abuse and sex.


While earlier questions have been asked on publications around the world, today’s question was sent to us by a user. If you have a question, please write in to us at sendyourstory@yahoo.com.

I have been married for 3 years now, and very happily so. But my problem is with our society, the people in our circles.

My husband and I are from 2 different poles of India. So there is a huge culture, language difference. I knew and accepted this when we met and decided to get married. But it looks like people like to remind me that every single day.

When we have friends come over (his friends), they all speak in his native language. I feel like a child, because all I do is smile, and sit with their kids and play - as if I am their babysitter. Else I spend my time in the kitchen cooking and serving them.

Even if there is a plan for an outing or trip, it is always my husband who is called and asked suggestions. Even the women in our friend circle call only him.

We stay in a foreign country so the fact that we have a common language is there. (Yes, I know the English language!) And yet, only he is invited, I am his plus one. Only he is called, I am the plus one.

As for my friends, ever since I have moved abroad, everyone is turning out to be pretty selfish; they call me when they need me and then hang up.

I have always tried to be nice and available to people. But I never get the recognition I want.

My husband, on other hand, is always busy on calls with friends and family - it makes me feel so very left out.

Even my in-laws will call me *only* when their son is not available.

So in short, everything seems to be taking down my self esteem or confidence. I cannot explain this to my husband, and he thinks I am overthinking everything. He loves me a lot, but he does not understand my need to be heard.

Suddenly I get the feeling that I am the wrong one for him. Maybe I am in a wrong marriage?

What to do?

What is your advice to her? Tell us in the comment space below.

More on ‘I need advice’, here.


Do you have a problem that is worrying you? Write in to us at sendyourstory@yahoo.com. We will feature your question in our ‘I Need Advice’ column.