I need advice: My wife and I don’t want kids, but the whole world thinks we ought to

·2-min read
lovely young indian couple hugging outdoors
My wife and I don’t want kids, but the whole world thinks we ought to. (Photo for representational purposes only)

In our new series called, ‘I need advice’, we bring you pertinent questions that real-life people have asked in publications around the world. These are hard-hitting issues faced by men and women today. The questions could range from family, relationships and work, to abuse and sex.


Here is today’s question:

My wife and I have decided not to have children.

We are in our late 30s, which is considered ‘prime childbearing age’. We have been married for over 7 years, and we have enjoyed our life together as husband and wife. We are the typical DINK - Double Income No Kids - couple.

Make no mistake, it’s not that we have not tried having kids in the past - we were always unsuccessful. We even tried a couple of rounds of IUI. But IVF was a complete no-no for us. I have heard horror stories of women getting cancer post IVF. I love my wife more than my own life, and I cannot bear anything should happen to her. IVF is so invasive, so many injections — all these things totally put me off. I can afford to not have kids, but I cannot allow my wife to go through that.

However, as ‘our clocks are ticking’, our families often remind us to have kids, but no one seems to be able to get it through their heads that we don’t want to have kids.

We are seeing the the evil in this world, and I don’t want raise a child in this kind of world. I am not condescending or judgemental toward people who have children, because it is their choice.

It is wrong to judge people over their choice. Then why are we constantly hearing people tell us that we need to have children?

Lockdown development: Ever since the lockdown, we’re getting ‘wink, wink’ comments from people about our baby-making plans. It is SO-ANNOYING!

How I can handle these people who feel the need to determine what happens in my relationship with my wife?

What should I do?


What is your advice to him? Tell us in the comment space below.

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