The news that every Great British Bake Off fan was dreading has happened in week two - everyone’s favourite contestant Jamie has been voted out.
Jamie was an instant hit with viewers when he debuted on the show last week, but after two disastrous episodes, the writing was on the (biscuit) wall, and people are devastated.
We could all tell he'd leave this week but my heart is still broke #GBBO 😭😭😭💔💔💔— Megan (@sew_42) September 3, 2019
Let’s enjoy one final tribute to his short but sweet time in the tent.
It was biscuit week in the Bake Off tent, a firm favourite with viewers as it inspires that most heated of all debates - which is the best biscuit?
WHAT YOUR FAVOURITE BISCUIT SAYS ABOUT YOU— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 3, 2019
You love a classic
You love a sequel
You're a safe pair of hands
You’re a maverick
You’re a loose cannon
You need to try more biscuits #GBBO
damn i should’ve bought shortbread for my viewing instead of cookies #gbbo— Kayla 🧚♀️ (@KaylaBySkyline) September 3, 2019
In non-edible news, Sandi Toksvig’s hair continues to inspire envy in anyone who looks upon its volume and shine.
The Signature Bake
We’re all settled back in to the new series of Bake Off now, but Henry gave a nod to his (almost) peers starting back at school this week by dressing as a schoolboy.
Noel Fielding pointed out that he was the first person ever to wear a tie in the tent, and then likened him to a “sophisticated toddler”.
But back to the bakes! This week’s first task was to make a chocolate bar biscuit, but if like us you were thinking Clubs and Penguins, your biscuit game has some way to go until it’s up to Bake Off standard.
Last week’s Star Baker Michelle impressed with a bakewell-themed creation, Alice’s New Zealand-inspired bars were dubbed delicious, and Rosie’s mojito-flavoured snacks were a triumph.
However, the nation’s favourite contestant Jamie got off to a characteristically disastrous start as his shortbread wouldn’t set, his caramel was too hot, and everything fell apart in the final minutes.
Oh no Jamie I can’t cope!!! 😭😭 #gbbo and Michelle - Star baker last week and a true STAR this week helping 💖— Kim-Joy (@kimjoyskitchen) September 3, 2019
Even Star Baker Michelle pitching in wasn’t enough to drag Jamie’s biscuits up to the mark, but at least he kept his excellent sense of humour about the whole thing.
I want Jamie from bake off to have his own baking tv show where everything goes wrong but he accepts it and moves on to the next disaster #gbbo— Kasha (@kxshabern) September 3, 2019
You know that series of Celebrity Big Brother where Chantelle wasn’t a celebrity but had to convince the others she was? Is Jamie doing that but for baking? #GBBO— Rosie Fletcher (@rosieatlarge) September 3, 2019
Who won the Technical Challenge?
Paul Hollywood rarely shies away from controversy and is not one to worry about people pleasing, but he took things a step too far this week when he settled on fig rolls as the Technical Challenge.
Of all the delicious biscuits in the world, who would choose fig rolls as something they’d want to eat 12 of? Paul’s dad, apparently.
Imagine being pals with someone and finding out they eat fig rolls 😨 #GBBO— William Ralph Main (@William_Main_) September 3, 2019
Many of the bakers declared they’d never even tried a fig roll before, and it certainly showed as they wrestled unappetising-looking rolls of fig paste into their dough.
Alice continued her brilliant week by winning the challenge, but poor Helena and Jamie were bottom of the pile with her soggy, flat rolls and his inexplicable use of an egg wash.
Biscuit week’s Showstopper is always one of our favourite challenges of the series, as contestants present gravity-defying biscuit structures.
This year certainly didn’t disappoint, with dragons, a tortoise, a sheep, and a cow all gracing the judges’ table.
Meanwhile, this week on Smut Corner with Paul Hollywood, the joke was on Henry’s organ as he was questioned with raised eyebrow about its size.
But if there’s one issue that the UK can unite behind this week, it’s what on earth Jamie was thinking in deciding to make the most precarious biscuit sculpture he could possibly have thought of.
His biscuit guitar certainly had the potential to look impressive, but after smashing into tiny pieces on the way out of the oven, he had to start the bake again.
Prue Leith and Paul loved the taste of it, but were underwhelmed by the look, although Amelia got an even harder time over her mermaid creation.
The judges complained that the stacking technique was too simple, the decoration wasn’t finessed enough, and the taste was lacklustre. And Amelia certainly didn’t look happy with the comments.
Our favourite Showstopper of biscuit week was Helena’s creepy spider crawling out of an egg, which left everyone else in the shadows.
Along with her witches’ fingers Signature Bake, Helena really committed to her favourite spooky theme, and it definitely paid off.
Who won Star Baker?
There could only be one winner this week - it was of course Alice, who was practically perfect in every way.
From her delicious chocolate biscuits, to coming first in the technical, and then a biscuit sheep decorated with macaron wool, Alice could easily set up a biscuit shop tomorrow and we’d be first in line.
Who was sent home?
We’re officially declaring a day of mourning tomorrow - Jamie has left the Bake Off tent.
There could be no other fair result after a dreadful week for poor old Jamie, but it doesn’t make the news any easier to bear for the Jamie fan club.
We’re honestly not sure how we’re going to feel about tuning in next week and having to look at his empty bench, but tune in we must...because it’s bread week, which means Paul will be even more terrifying than usual.
The Great British Bake Off continues on Tuesdays at 8pm on Channel 4.