Three days are left for the grand launch of Bigg Boss 14. Hosted by Salman Khan the show has revealed a couple of names of the contestant who are set to step inside the controversial house. But before he steps inside the house, he opened up about his mental illness during the recent interview. The actor revealed that the society we live in believe that boys don’t cry, so he didn’t. It all started when his parents separated and he was young. He also stated that till six years ago, he was not even aware that he was ailing.
He told Mumbai Mirror, “We have been socially conditioned to believe that boys don’t cry, so I didn’t. Instead, I grew up believing that my mom had left me because she didn’t love me and my father couldn’t accept me. I blamed myself for my parents’ fights and the anxiety eventually translated into anger issues.” Eijaz revealed that when he was forced to go to therapists, he was scared of dark memories triggering again. He further added, “I got panic attacks, and for a person who hadn’t cried since he left his home at the age of 17, I was suddenly bawling for no particular reason.” He further stated that his illness also affected his own relationships as he used to superimpose his insecurities on his partners.
He said, “I badly wanted them to stay with me, but not in a possessive way. If they tried to do anything independently my passive-aggressive side would surface. I was so comfortable being unhappy that I’d do something to create that. I don’t blame my partners for leaving me and moving to a healthier life.”
He went on to add in a choked voice that two years from 2015 to 2017 were the most traumatic. He said, “From hating the world, I started hating myself. I tried to find what I didn’t have for real in the characters I played on screen. I would gravitate towards broken men with women in their lives who had gone away or were in some kind of a strained relationship or dead. I was validating my pain through them, thinking that when it ends for them, my pain would also go away.”
“Today, I understand that therapy makes you realise that things aren’t as bad as one might think. You are not scared to live anymore,” he added. (ALSO READ: Bigg Boss 14 Contestants List CONFIRMED: Jasmin Bhasin, Eijaz Khan, Pavitra Punia And More To Be Locked Inside Salman Khan's House - EXCLUSIVE )
Images Source: instagram.com/eijazkhan
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