Oscars 2012: Girl, Humiliated

Suma Nagaraj

Do-no-wrong fashion maven, champion of the misplaced, spokesperson for education reform and informed political commentator Angelina Jolie seemed to be out of her element (or way too in it, as some put it) with her mistaking the Oscars stage for a photo-op for invisible lingerie today.

Not a hair was out of place, the famous pillow lips were painted a Satan concubine red and the limber, zero-percent-body-fat body was encased in an asymmetric velvety black number that had a slit so high on the right that it went all the way up to Calgary mountains in Canada. To give the devil its due, the black gown did give off a somewhat quasi well-developed derriere vibe, but mother-of-6 Angelina Jolie seemed to want to show the versatility of the slit so bad, she almost ended up flashing the divine doodah that has, among other things, birthed three messiahs for the betterment of this world in the last 5 years.

In doing so, Angelina Jolie seemed to have thrown off the mantle of every good thing she's done and has going for her, inviting not just shocked titters from the audience (even a belly laugh - whoever that was, you deserve a standing ovation) but paving the way for Jim Rash, co-writer of The Descendants, (that went on to get the nod for Best Adapted Screenplay), to openly 'pay a loving tribute' as he put it, to Angie's seemingly never-ending slit/leg.

Angie, as she's fondly called, went from siren red-lipped temptress when she let out a throaty chuckle, as is wont of someone who's cocksure (apologies) of their boudoir behaviour, to a flustered presenter with a micro-moment of panic when she seemed to have forgotten what she was there for, to a condescending virtuoso who's chewed and swallowed all that one needs to know about script-writing, to being put right back on her self-created holy pedestal as the award-winning Rash assumed the same stance as she did with her now-you-see-it-so-you-bloody-well-see-it right leg in all its bony glory, left hand on hip, head thrown back aggressively in a preying-mantis-post-off-with-mate's-head pose, a haughty expression on the face that looked down on the scores of plebeians in front of her and the Oscar statuette held in hand as a dominatrix would a whip.

Since then, not only has Angie's leg become a potent photo bomb, it's got its own Twitter account and seems well on its way to replacing Sally Fields's much-mocked Oscar moment from when she was just a wee cherub.

The moment of this year's Oscars, beyond a doubt.

Read all about Jim Rash, who plays Dean Pelton on the much-loved Community, here.