Crush on boss

Interview anxiety

I have a job interview with a company I have been aiming to work at since a very young age and I am becoming increasingly nervous as the day approaches. I cannot mess up this opportunity since I have devoted a lot of time and energy to make myself a suitable employee of the company. However, every time I try to rehearse for the interview, I start rambling and stuttering on my words and my point gets lost in my incoherent speech. I feel completely terrified and will surely fail if I do not speak properly. Is there anything I can do?

Performance anxiety often cripples an individual to do well in the field that s/he is qualified for. In your case it seems performance anxiety is the cause of you failing to speak openly in the job interview. You can approach a psychologist who can teach you few techniques to overcome anxiety. These techniques are practical based and often yield results that serve as a learning ground. You have also made this interview as something which is a very important aspect of your life than simply treating it as an interview. Changing this view could also be helpful in approaching this interview realistically.

Crush on boss

I have developed very strong feelings for the boss of my branch in the company. I constantly try to set up meetings with him and consult him every chance I get. In our office, relationships with employees are strictly forbidden and can result in loss of job amongst other things. I do not want to risk my job, however, my feelings just keep growing and I don’t know what to do. Is there anything I can do?

You mentioned that your feelings are growing for your boss and also that dating within the company is prohibited. This is a two-fold problem which requires a breakdown in order to resolve it. Firstly, conveying your feelings to your boss can help you understand whether both of you are on the same page as far as feelings are concerned. Once you understand this equation, it will be easier to make a decision with respect to the future/ possibility of any relationship. In case your boss does not share the sentiments it still clears the air for you and helps you decide whether being in the same work environment as his, without reciprocation of feelings is possible or not.

Employee’s agony

I have been given a task which involves negotiating share prices with one of the biggest shareholders of our company. This is one of the biggest tasks I have ever been assigned, and if I were to succeed, it would very likely result in a promotion and bonus from my boss. Unfortunately, my colleagues warned me that the shareholder I am negotiating with is extremely stubborn and doesn’t listen to anyone once his mind is made. Since he is one of the biggest shareholders, I have to try my best not to upset him, however, I feel like due to the nature of the discussion, it is inevitable. What should I do?

It is an important deal in your life, and most often the fear of going wrong makes us doubt our abilities. It is essential to be aware of your strengths so that while negotiating share prices you can rely on them and moderate the situation accordingly. Your response to authority will make a lot of difference to the end result. If you fear that being assertive could result in upsetting others, then, any decision made hereafter would strictly adhere to pleasing the authority.

Problematic colleague

I started interning at my dad’s very close friend’s office few months ago. Last month a new intern who is a year younger to me joined the firm. She has completed her education from a reputed university and constantly throws her weight around because of the same. I get very affected and intimidated by her as she comments on how easy it is for me to stay here. We are now put on the same project and the thought of working with her is giving me jitters. Can I do something to not feel so anxious all the time?

The reason why you feel so anxious might have something to do with how you perceive yourself in comparison to the new intern. You mentioned her education and her overall attitude is quite intimidating for you, somewhere indicating lack of self assurance in you. Being in a place where it is possible for people to assume that it was easy for you to get an internship or that your personal connection with the owner might make things easy for you, could be quite burdensome. In such a situation it is always beneficial to accept the fact that being close to the owner is a fact you can’t change. However, you being mindful about not taking undue advantage of this fact as well as being dedicated to your work (at the same time not overdoing to compensate) could help. Ultimately, you have very little control over how others perceive you, thus investing your time and energy into correcting that perception might lead to anxiety. Once you discontinue this process, anxiety will also lower.

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