A daughter has penned a hilarious obituary for an adored man who “tortured his siblings” with “obnoxious pranks” and ran licence plate numbers on his daughters’ boyfriends.
Joe Heller, from Connecticut in the US, died on Sunday aged 82 – “his last undignified and largely irreverent gesture”, read his obituary written by daughter Monique Heller.
A childhood during The Great Depression “resulted in a lifetime of frugality, hoarding and cheap mischief, often at the expense of others”.
Joe gleefully tormented his siblings with “obnoxious pranks”, including baking a chocolate cake with laxatives and naming the family dog “Fart” to embarrass his mum when calling the pet home.
A former library assistant at Yale Law School, Joe joined the Navy and after an honourable discharge, Joe served as a volunteer fireman and lollipop man.
Monique wrote that Joe met his wife Irene, “who was hoodwinked into thinking he was a charming individual with decorum”.
“Boy, was she ever wrong. Joe embarrassed her daily with his mouth and choice of clothing,” she wrote.
“To this day we do not understand how he convinced our mother, an exceedingly proper woman and a pillar in her church, to sew and create the colourful costumes and props which he used for his antics.”
Joe was an enthusiastic father of three girls, and when his daughters were old enough to date, he ran the licence plates of their boyfriends and casually left shotguns and harpoons around the house when dates came calling.
“Joe was a frequent shopper at the Essex Dump and he left his family with a house full of crap, 300 pounds of birdseed and dead houseplants that they have no idea what to do with,” the obituary said.
“....Joe was also a consummate napper. There wasn’t a road, restaurant or friend’s house in Essex that he didn’t fall asleep on or in. There wasn’t an occasion too formal or an event too dour that Joe didn’t interrupt with his apnea and voluminous snoring.”
Monique told CNN her dad had an unorthodox view of life and she wanted to honour him.