Dear Maa, that was actually a stupid excuse I made – there I confess it

She would occasionally call your bluff, but mostly act naïve, allowing you the gratification of your fragile triumph. As we gear up to celebrate Mother’s Day, here are few “champs” who’ve decided to confess their lies – we are pretty sure the moms know it already – but, its never too late.

The man who faked menarche to avoid school

Satish Arora, 32, Ludhiana: I was 5 or 6, we were a family of four with just one bathroom to share. One morning, as I nibbled at my breakfast, my sister who is 7 years elder to me rushed out of the bathroom, panting. “Mom, I am peeing blood, am I going to die?” – she sobbed. Mom took her to the room, I observed how she didn’t have to go to school that day.  A week later I poured a thick concoction of red water color on the bathroom floor and repeated my sister’s act. “I won’t go to school today, I’m peeing blood.” I demanded, didn’t work for me guys, didn’t work.

A girl by the window, a boy on the street

Kavya Patnaik, 27, Bhuwaneshwar: I was 16, dad was posted in Hyderabad those days. It was a spacious apartment, but a few months later I shifted my study table in my mom’s room, by the east window. I framed a convoluted story so she believes that a particular spot in her room was “lucky” for my studies as per ‘Vastu Shastra.’ But something tells me, mom always knew that the only reason her room drew me, was that generous view of the street to the mosque its window afforded me, the street Hussain uncle’s son took for his evening prayers every day.

Lies, loose motions, and cups

Souvik Dutta, 21, Kolkata: I, like a lot of you, just cannot stand my extended family. So some uncle was arriving from England, and we all had to go receive him. You know what day it was?  2 April 2011 – And they expected me to throw on an ironed trouser for some uncle I had last seen in my diapers? Nah! I wasn’t having it. I took a couple of trips down toilet lane whenever Maa was around, compelling her to ask, “Is everything all right?” “No, my stomach is a little runny today.” “How many times?” “Who keeps a ledger for pooping, Maa?” Yeah, I got to stay back and witness history being written as MS Dhoni brought the glorious cup home.

Saree on the maiden goes round and round

Aisha Siddiqui, 36, Bangalore: Ammi had an enviable collection of sarees that could put the Hema Malinis and Rekhas of Bollywood to shame. Though, she wouldn’t let me lay a finger on any of those, I too, was one determined 14 year old. Independence Day celebration in Army Schools has always been a big deal. I coaxed the drama teacher to give me the role I had my eyes on forever. Early morning, 15th August, I marched to ammi’s room and demanded she draped a saree around me. “The while silk saree with zari border, and please fashion an orange and green dupatta around my waist and chest – I am portraying Bharat Mata this year.”  One silly excuse to celebrate a saree, a dozen safety pins and no regrets.

Lying would never be a character trait you long to see in your beloved child, but excuses like these go down to create memories that are cherished lifelong. Do share with us if you tried to act smart with your mom and if that work out for you?