I didn't think I would make it to 17: Billie Eilish on depression

Los Angeles, Jan 25 (PTI) Teen sensation Billie Eilish has opened up about her struggle with depression which led to her contemplating suicide.

The 18-year-old singer, who is nominated for the best new artiste Grammy award, said two years ago she was in the darkest phase of her life.

'I was so unhappy last year. I was so unhappy, and I was so, like, joyless. I don't want to be dark, but I genuinely didn't think I would make it to 17,' Eilish said in an interview with Gayle King for her CBS special.

When the host asked whether the singer ever had suicidal thoughts, she said, 'Yeah. I think about this one time I was in Berlin and I was alone in my hotel, and I remember there was a window right there. I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was going to die was, I was going to do it.' Gayle then referred to Eilish's song 'Bury a Friend' where she sings 'I wanna end me' and asked the singer if that was a real thought in her mind.

'It was. It also rhymed,' she said.

The 'lovely' singer said she shares a special relationship with her fans and wants them to value their lives.

'I just grab them by the shoulders and I’m like, ‘Please, take care of yourself and be good to yourself, and be nice to yourself. Don’t take that extra step and hurt yourself further. And then you can’t take it back',' Eilish said. PTI RB SHD SHD