Ranking The New Game Of Thrones Posters By How Uncomfortable Everyone Looks

Tom Nicholson
Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

From Esquire

Twenty new posters for the eighth and final season of Game of Thrones have arrived. Obviously, everyone's been over them with a fine-toothed comb already looking for clues as to the finale's conclusion which might have been laced into their new costumes.

But what about their faces? What are they telling us? For the sake of this article, let's assume it's how likely they are to end up leading Westeros, from 'least likely' to 'put your bet on now'.

20. Samwell Tarly

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Looks like he's accidentally sat on himself.

19. The Hound

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

The Hound is struck by the creeping dread of being in the priority seat on the Tube but knowing he could very easily stand, and being on hair-trigger alert for anyone who looks so much as a bit tired to give the seat away to. Sorry did you... no no! It's fine! Yep, no. Fine. I'll just... no worries!!

18. Ser Davos Seaworth

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Sick of it. Absolutely sick of it.

17. Bran Stark

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Quite a Harry Kane Panini sticker look here. Not thrilled, possibly possessed.

16. Brienne of Tarth

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

All the savoir-faire of an X Factor contestant watching some 17-year-old's 'Proud Mary' blow her slightly pitchy 'Just The Way You Are' out of the water and realising she's not going to Louis Walsh's mad LA mansion after all.

15. Melisandre

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Very first-time-meeting-your-partner's-mum vibe here. Specifically the moment when you've tried to make your first joke of the evening and wanted to cram that little gag about Strictly back into your mouth. In this house, we like Strictly. Actually.

14. Varys

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Varys liked the Grönlid. He liked the Färlöv too. And the Ekenäset, and the Poäng, and the Strandmon. They were all fine. They were all absolutely fine. Can you please just stop making him try out sofas, pick one and we can go home? City-Arsenal starts at 4.

13. Tyrion Lannister

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Is he... is he dead?

12. Missandei

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Textbook poker face. Nailed on death this season. Heard it here first.

11. Grey Worm

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Slightly brittle posturing here, but you've got to say - in the most basic sense - the man knows how to work a chair.

10. Jaime Lannister

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Focused but mardy, like a labrador who wants the frisbee but has had it up to here with your pretending-to-throw-it schtick.

9. Theon Greyjoy

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Very good posture. Very, very good.

8. Ser Jorah


Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Jorah's got some chicken in the oven and a lovely red from South Africa just breathing on the side a minute. He's got those nice truffles you like from Hotel Chocolat for later. And is that Santana? Jorah, you smooth bastard.

7. Euron Greyjoy

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Good luck getting him out of that throne. He's wedged himself in good and proper.

6. The Night King

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

That guy who's always in your local, never speaking, never reading anything, never on his phone, never meeting friends. Just staring. He's not that comfortable, but he's going to make everyone in the room feel as comfortable as he does.

5. Jon Snow

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

A strong look but a bit too self-consciously hard nut-ish to take entirely seriously, like one of the less important members of Blazin' Squad trying to flex in the background of a Smash Hits shoot.

4. Sansa Stark

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Little bit tense, but would definitely kick you in the face if you tried to turf her out of that throne.

4. Cersei Lannister

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Much more composed. Magisterial even. It's amazing what being incredibly evil can do for your sense of self-worth, isn't it.

2. Daenerys Targaryen

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Very perhaps a little too smug for top spot, though that might just be the downlighting on those cheekbones.

1. Arya Stark

Photo credit: HBO
Photo credit: HBO

Supremely confident, like a seven-year-old who's nicked the front seat on the DLR. I'm driving the train, me. I'm driving this bloody train, and we're going where I say we go. Crown her now.

('You Might Also Like',)