Forget the Bank Holiday and the heatwave, this is the real moment in August we’ve all been waiting for - the return of The Great British Bake Off.
But it was almost curtains for one unlucky contestant, who managed to maim pretty much every finger on his hand during just the first bake.
This is the 10th season of TV’s most beloved kitchen contest and anyone still with concerns that the show’s famous penchant for innuendo would not continue under Channel 4’s reign can rest easy, as the opening episode of this third run with the broadcaster was one of the rudest we’ve seen.
Packed with cheeky jokes, saucy puns, and some suggestive camera shots, there was plenty to delight fans of the Bake Off, and that’s before we even got to the incredible standard of talent this year.
Bakey Is Back by Sir Cakemixalot— innocent drinks (@innocent) August 27, 2019
We like big cakes and we like hot pies
No soggy bottom? You'll win the prize
When Bake Off comes on
And we cannot get a taste
Of those round cakes in our face
We get hungry#GBBO
With a baker’s dozen of 13 contestants to get to know this series, we had to race from one baking station to the next to see all of their efforts before hosts Noel Fielding and Sandi Toksvig called time up.
Here are all of the biggest moments from the first episode, including the Star Baker, and the unlucky contestant to be booted out first by judges Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith.
The Signature Bake
As is traditional, the series opened with cake week, but none of the bakers were taking it easy as they vied to stand out from the crowd in the tent.
Tasked with baking a fruit cake (possibly the most unexciting of all cakes), most decided to jazz things up with some very ambitious decoration.
However, Michael was just lucky to survive with his hand still attached, as he managed to slice three digits on one hand in separate accidents.
Viewers were left watching from behind their own fingers as they winced at his slap-dash chopping skills.
Despite one hand being basically out of action, Michael still managed to produce a pretty impressive first effort.
Henry aimed high with an intricate icing house, but we were just waiting for the inevitable moment when it all came crashing down at the last second, while Dan’s cake was mostly raw.
Meanwhile, Noel found a kindred spirit in Goth Helena, who shared: “I live like every day is Halloween.”
Who won the Technical Challenge?
Disaster all round!
Most of the contestants had an absolute shocker in the Technical, but none more so than Jamie who even after two attempts could only muster a rubbery mess.
Dan was still battling with his nerves, this time forgetting to turn the timer on.
A few rose to the challenge, including Henry who had the honour of winning the first Technical of series 10.
In the third round, the innuendos really picked up pace as Helena launched into a long description of her cake inspired by her dream furry garden, as well as the furry garden she keeps as an adult.
After much amusement and red faces, Paul worked out that she was actually talking about a “fairy” garden, but the hilarity continued when Prue pointed out that she actually had more of a fairy mountain.
Viewers also noticed some lingering shots of HGV driver Phil smoothing the covering on his rocket cake rather suggestively.
“Furry gardens”, a man fondling a fondant icing nosecone. Ban this filth. #GBBO— Samuel Robinson (@SamuelERobinson) August 27, 2019
David’s snake cake lead to a discussion of the snakes each star had kept as a pet, although Paul admitted to only having owned a slow worm.
Noel refused to spare Prue’s blushes during the judging, when she proclaimed that she was “dribbling” over one baker’s creation.
The brief of creating their childhood birthday cake of dreams lead to some inspired designs, but who pulled it off and who failed to rise to the challenge?
Who won Star Baker?
All hail the Bake Off tent’s new queen, Michelle!
She had a fairly average first day, but her “faultless” Showstopper put her head and shoulders above the competition.
Who was sent home?
We’re not going to lie, it was a bit of a shock to see Dan go home tonight, especially after his incredible dry-ice pirate island Showstopper.
Much as we love Jamie (who doesn’t?) and his adorable voice-breaking moment that pretty much summed up the average age of this year’s contestants, it seemed like he was a dead cert to go home first.
In fact, he even had to take himself off screen so that he didn’t cry on camera after his final cake disaster.
You can tell how old a bake off viewer is simply by whether they want to marry Jamie or adopt him #GBBO— Hannah (@hannah_liz73) August 27, 2019
But it was Dan’s time to go, and Jamie lives to bake another week.
The Great British Bake Off continues on Tuesdays at 8pm on Channel 4.