Former boxing promoter Kellie Maloney has given a heartbreaking interview about making a suicide attempt after leaving behind her old life as Frank.
The Celebrity Big Brother star opened up about the turmoil and anguish she’d gone through at accepting that her previous life as a famous boxing boss was over.
Maloney talked to The Sun about the dark period of her life after transitioning from Frank to Kellie, the full details of which she hadn’t even been able to share with her three daughters.
Explaining that she had turned to heavy drinking, she said: “I felt like I’d really messed up my whole life, and even worse my daughters’ lives. That night I kept on drinking when I got home.
“I woke in the night and all I could do was cry. I thought, ‘What have I done? I’ve got nothing in my life any more’. By this time Frank has gone.
“I’ve lost that, but it was regret over all of the sacrifices that had come with it. I never had to queue up to get in somewhere, I could pick up the phone and say ‘It’s Frank Maloney’ and things would happen. It was nice.”
She went on: “I never wanted for company. I know it sounds silly and a lot of those people weren’t genuine. I lay there that night and I was looking at pictures of Frank — I still have some on my phone.
"And I was looking at pictures of Kellie. I could see Kellie had a smile which Frank never had, but for some reason there was still something missing.
“I was wondering, ‘How could Frank do all these things and get people in his life while Kellie — who is a nicer person — can’t have anyone in her life and will never meet anyone to share her life with.
“So I just thought, I don’t want to live this lonely life any more. I had a good life, but I just felt empty, and when you’re lying in a room, it’s dark, you’re flicking through photos on a telephone, you’re quite drunk then suddenly you think there’s an easy way out.”
Maloney described how she had taken a cocktail of pills and alcohol, but luckily had been found by a friend who was staying with her as she collapsed.
Although she says she has no regrets about transitioning from male to female, Maloney added that she knew the warning signs to look out for in dealing with mental health issues.
She said: “It’s about how I deal with them. That’s what I’ve got under control. I still struggle with my sexuality — and I probably always will. I’ve never woken up next to somebody as Kellie.
"I still don’t really know if I want to meet a male or a female partner — and I struggle with being accepted by some men. But I know that I do have a good life compared to many other trans people.”
Maloney added: “I think it’s always going to be in my mind that this could happen again.
“But I realise now that if I ever get to that stage again I have to pick up the phone and talk to someone.”