The end of any close relationship, be it with your partner, parent, co-worker or friend, can leave you heartbroken. And many of us in this scenario have a hard time moving on. In a Ted Talk, clinical psychologist Dr Antonio Pascual-Leone called this "emotional baggage" or "unfinished business".
"Most people think that moving on is just a matter of time. People think that the bad feeling will just sort of run its course," he commented. But there are more things at play.
Research has shown that people who resolve these issues, often go through three distinct steps: you are upset, bent out of shape, and feel angry and sad that are like two sides of the same coin, according to Dr Pascual-Leone.
In such situations people grieve and blame others or themselves. Suggesting ways to cope with the emotions, Dr Pascual-Leone said the first step into healing is to keep breathing and tolerating the feeling until you find peace in the "new normal". The person also needs to identify his or her exact cause of grief.
The psychologist remarked, "One of the reasons people have trouble finishing the grief process is because there are actually so many undeclared losses--the hopes, the dreams that you have together...You just need to follow and express the healthy need. Grief is not just about feeling sad; it's about identifying specific losses."