My partner has been seeing another woman for years

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My partner has been living a double life. Recently, he was checking his emails on my laptop, but didn’t log out. I discovered that he has been seeing another woman for years. He has been spending half of his time living at hers.

We previously broke up because he was cheating on me. His behaviour towards me can only be described as psychologically abusive. To the outside world, he is the life and soul of the party, but the real him is very different. He is very controlling, checks my mobile phone and constantly makes cruel remarks. While he has been treating me badly, he has been treating her much better; when I was having radiotherapy for breast cancer, they went on holiday together.

When I confronted him, he initially denied everything. A couple of weeks later, he started texting me again, as if nothing had happened. I feel ashamed that I put up with his abuse, but my overriding emotion is anger. How can I stop thinking about him and the other woman, and be happy?

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