Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow the unscientific advice of their friends.
To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’, every Friday. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.
The column is being written by Sexologist Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain. In today’s column, Dr Jain has addressed premature ejaculation and discussed behavioural changes that can help men cope better with this issue.
Conversations regarding sexual health seldom revolve around men. Also, due to the socio-cultural stereotype that a man’s machismo is associated with his sexuality, they are often conditioned in such a manner that they are hesitant to participate in conversations related to their sexual performance issues. As a result, they carry the baggage of their sexual health issues without seeking any help, which often strains their relationships and affects confidence. One such problem is Premature ejaculation, which is experienced by 1 in every three men in India.
What Is Premature Ejaculation?
The condition of premature ejaculation is often characterised by a man ejaculating too soon after starting sexual intercourse or sometimes discharging in a state of arousal before even consummating the act.
Apart from ruining sex lives, premature ejaculation can, in some cases, be the cause of childlessness and affect marriages adversely.
However, what many men do not know is that it is a widespread problem and can be managed better with specific behavioural changes that can increase the time a man lasts in the act of sexual intercourse before reaching an orgasm. Here are a few ways in which one can prolong his ejaculation period.
Increase the frequency of lovemaking
This may sound counter-intuitive, but the more one indulges in sexual intercourse, the better control he will have on when he ejaculates.
Indulge in Foreplay
This has the dual benefit of sexually satisfying your partner and reducing the pressure on you performing during sexual intercourse, which will lead to better ejaculatory control.
Thinking of something not related to sex during intercourse may help in delaying ejaculation. It would help if you were careful in doing this, though, as sometimes it may cause you to lose your erection and be counterproductive to what you are trying to do, which prolongs your lovemaking.
Speed of masturbation
Unfortunately, the practice of self-pleasure has many myths and taboos attached to it due to misconceptions and lack of information. The truth is that masturbation is a normal and healthy part of our lives. Masturbating in a certain way can also help control ejaculation. The trick is not to masturbate too quickly but to do so slowly. Make sure you at least last more than 5 minutes before attaining an orgasm. The more control you have on your ejaculation during masturbation, the better control you will have during lovemaking.
Exercises for Pelvic Floor Muscles
Although the popular perception is that only women do exercises like Kegels to strengthen their pelvic floor muscles, even men can benefit from such activities, especially if they ejaculate prematurely. Practising kegel exercises help men improve their stamina and the strength of the ejaculation, and the hardness of the penis during sex. But, most of all, these pelvic muscle exercises will help make a man last longer during sex.
The Key Is Patience
Such practices take time to show effect, so one needs to be patient and communicate with his partner. He should explain to her what he is trying to do, and any supportive partner would be compassionate and understanding.
However, if a person continues to ejaculate prematurely, despite following the aforementioned tips, it is essential to shrug off the fear of being judged and consult a doctor or a qualified sexologist, who can take the treatment further and suggest different techniques and medication help him get rid of this frustrating problem.
Self-medicating is never a good idea in such cases. But, more importantly, it is vital to remember that you are not inadequate or any less of a man if you have this issue. Like any other health issue, it is just a condition and can be managed with patience and medication.