Should you tell your partner everything?

To tell or not to tell?

It is commonly understood that the foundations of any relationship are trust and truth. This is deemed even more apt in love affairs where partners are required to open up entirely to each other before they can embark on a journey of togetherness.

But is this really true? Should a couple be brutally candid to each other – even with each other’s pasts?

Here is a real life example that will set your minds thinking.

A young man, not yet 30, started dating a woman whom he had – like so many others in this day and age – ‘found’ online. The alliance went from strength to strength: online chatting led to late night phone calls and eventually to a face-to-face meeting where the two hit it off.

Shantanu (named changed) was elated. He thought he had, after so many false starts, finally discovered the woman of his dreams. But there was a problem. He had had a murky past, one that involved several broken relationships and an array of shattered hearts and dreams.

Shantanu’s biggest concern was that he had dated several women much, much older to him. One of these was actually the mother of his ex-girlfriend. So basically, Shantanu had slept with the mother of his ex – a bitter reality he now wanted to tell his current paramour, Sneha (name changed), before they could step forward into a brand new tomorrow.

So this is what he did. Over a cup of steaming hot coffee, he told Sneha everything, that this is what he had done and how his conscience did not permit him to hide anything from her.

If Shantanu was expecting Sneha to lovingly embrace him – warts and all – he was sadly mistaken. No sooner did she hear him out, her face froze and her expression changed into a cold hard one. She told him there and then that she was not okay with his past and that she wanted nothing to do with a man who had had sexual relations with women old enough to be his mother.

No amount of convincing or pleading could change her stance. Once this ill-fated date was over, Shantanu returned home to find that Sneha had blocked him everywhere: on social media, on her calling list, and even on email!

And so ended the relationship, all because he had chosen to be utterly truthful. Speaking to a group of friends a few days after his self-engineered heartbreak, he admitted that he had been a fool to have acted in such a manner. He vowed never to reveal his past – for the sake of the relationship – to any future partner.

Which compels one to think – is it in everybody’s best interests to keep certain elements of the past hidden? Is it true that the heart does not care for what the mind does not know? Should Shantanu have kept these bitter facts unknown from Sneha?

Tell us what you think in the comments section.

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